The pandemic has basically annihilated my sense of self to the point that I don’t know what to say here. Maybe for now it’s a eulogy. I used to be a person who was always creating things. I used to have focus and discipline. I was creative. I liked being alive. I ran 10+ miles every Saturday. I had multiple podcasts. I had a brain that could think linearly when it needed to. All of this was dismantled by specific grief and a general sense of unmooring. This sounds dark but it isn’t to me, just a reminder of what has been and what could be again.